The Unscripted Journey: How Erin Doppelt Learned To Trust Her Inner Wisdom To Build An Intentional Life

[00:59] Paul: Welcome to The Pathless Path. I'm Paul Millerd, and in this podcast, we examine the invisible scripts that run our lives and dare to imagine new stories for work and life. Today I am talking with Erin Rachel Doppelt. I'm very excited for this conversation today. Erin's somebody I've gotten to know in Austin and have done a deep dive of a lot of her thinking, ideas, her journey. I have so many questions I want to dig into a little deeper.

She jumped off the default path way earlier than me, a lot more guts than me, leaving the marketing world pretty early upon her path and wandering around the world, ended up in places like Israel, Poland, Bali, among many others. I believe she has so much wisdom for the path she's on and is really helping and inspiring so many people. She's really trying to combine a lot of Western ideas and Eastern ideas in her work and working with women and really helping people carve new paths in the world. Welcome to the podcast, Erin.

[02:08] Erin Doppelt: Thank you so much for having me, Paul. I'm honored to be here. It's so fun.

[02:14] Paul: The question, which I think, you know, I start with is what are the stories and scripts you grew up with as a child that told you who you were supposed to be in the world?

[02:27] Erin Doppelt: I love this question because I really believe so many of us are born into this world and you receive a very specific fear programming, right? And it takes a lot of work to reprogram the subconscious mind, which is something that I think and talk about a lot to my community. But one theme that was such like really present growing up was the importance of higher-level education. So not necessarily needing to pursue a doctorate or something like that, but success was going to school, staying in school, perfecting something within school. And what I've learned from living in India, living in Israel, or the people that I seek out for wisdom or advice, they're the people that have this this life credibility. And yes, there's a time and place for education.

I'm definitely grateful for my background in my studies, and I also believe there's so much that you can learn from just booking the plane ticket or saying yes to the job opportunity or breaking up with the partner or writing the damn book, right? You want to know how to write a book? Sit down, start writing the book. Then you'll understand. So life experience, that street smart, is always something that is going to— it's not something you're going to learn in school sometimes.

[03:56] Paul: You, you've talked a bit about how as a child you sort of knew you had this spiritual side, but then maybe you lost that a little along the way. Maybe talk to me about that disconnect and sort of that sort of self-awareness that such an early age?

[04:12] Erin Doppelt: I think all of us are born spiritual children, and I, when I define spirituality, I mean connecting to nature, connecting to animals, connecting to grandparents or older adults in a way that feels quite intuitive and awe-inspiring. One of my favorite professors is Dr. Lisa Miller, and she wrote the book "The Spiritual Child," and she talks a lot about this. Yet we live in a society where that's not nourished. Right? You go to school, you are kind of put on a very specific path.

So I had a pretty radical awakening when I was 17 years old. And then you go to college, right? I joined a sorority. You spend 4 years drinking, you conform, you get a job, right? You're programmed to go to school, go out, get a job. So there was no one really having these deep conversations about a higher power as they understand it, or even suffering.

Like, I was even— I wanted to talk about suffering. Like, what was hard for you? What were you moving through in that moment? And I think so often the world would look quite different. And we see a lot of pro— honestly, right now, programming coming out where we are nourishing a different type of education, where meditation is being taught in the school system, where kids are learning how to grow their own food or connect to nature. And it's these simple things that foster a more intimate relationship with, you could say, a higher power as they understand it, or something just bigger than self.

And that is a breakthrough, that's an epiphany, that's a new way to look at our Western world.

[05:56] Paul: Yeah, it's definitely something I'm thinking about with a daughter now, and sort of just reflecting back and realizing myself, I don't think I had any adults that sort of sat me down and had a type of conversation that was like, what, what lights you up? What inspires you? I was just really good at school, so nobody really thought to be worried about me. And I mean, I was very, very lucky in that regard, in that if you are good in school, there are many opportunities for you in the world, but I sort of woke up in my late 20s and was like, oh crap, I've never thought about what I actually want in life. Did you have that sort of tension as well? What was your experience in school?

[06:40] Erin Doppelt: We all have that little voice and you can have a cocktail, you can take a drug, you can go sleep with that person, you can go cheat on your partner, you can go embezzle money. You can always find something to distract you from that little voice, but that voice becomes louder. And sometimes I refer to it, I oftentimes refer to it as an inner guru connection, and it's this like innermost authentic self, that highest self, the most authentic version of you, but it's very raw and it's quite confronting. So for me, I was 23 years old. I was 22, 23. I got a corporate marketing job in Chicago.

I was opening up health food restaurants in Chicago, D.C., and Denver. It was an amazing job, and it was this almost like a socialite scene. You're like going to all these restaurant events and these cocktail bars, and it's very interesting when you're 22, 23. Yet I would wake up Saturday morning and you can feel that hole in your heart, and there's a remembering. And that remembering is there. That remembering is what you thought you would be like, what you thought this current human experience would feel like.

And for everybody, it's going to feel quite different. So for some people, it might be anxiety and depression. It might be something like very tangible like that. There's a lot of research suggesting that even these negative mental health obstacles are glimpses of a spiritual awakening, right? It's a sign that your path is about to change drastically. And then for other people, it's that waking up and just having that radical conversation with self, where you recognize that you are maybe understimulated, maybe undernourished, maybe unhappy.

And from there, you can make a shift to come back home, to walk yourself back home, right? That's one of the That's one of Rumi's quotes, that we're all here to really walk each other home. But to walk each other home requires, I always say, uh, basic needs. You need to be able to check into self, and to check in with self means you're properly hydrated, you're eating real whole foods that your ancestors ate, you take time to breathe deeply. And once you are doing these things, slowly, slowly, slowly, you become more clear on how to course correct. And if— and I'm sure you see this all the time, especially with this podcast and with the work that you're sharing with the world and your incredible book that we love— so many people are looking for a different way.

They're looking to feel better, and then they find us.

[09:27] Paul: Yeah, I, I think for me, I sort of write for my past self because I didn't even know what I didn't know. And It's interesting you talk about how these negative emotions can be clues. I was so frustrated with the workplace and these leaders, quote unquote, these men. I was just like, who are these people? Are not inspiring. Who are they?

Why are they like this? And I— but I had nothing to like sort of come back to. It sounds like this experience for you in high school of taking a trip was such a powerful anchor that sort of shaped an earlier awakening for you.

[10:08] Erin Doppelt: And once you have an earlier awakening, which so many of us do, and it becomes, we repress it over time. But a lot of us have these kind of radical awakenings. It's when you felt like you communicated to your family dog or you were thinking about something and like, and then it happened, right? Where children are innately spiritual, they can connect quite deeply. For me, when I was 17, I was laying in the desert, I was on a trip in Israel, and I was looking at the stars, and I write about this in my book in detail, how, why not go for it, right? Like, if this is the world and that's a star above me, I'm going to choose a life where I can light up like these stars, or I understand how small I am sitting on this little sun, this little ball being reflected By the sun, allowing myself to see these stars.

I'm so small and yet I still carry that light. So I'm gonna go do the work that I wanna do in this world. And I remembered that moment when I was 23, hungover in my mouse-infested apartment in Chicago. And at the same time, I was still leading trips to Europe and Israel. And so I started to think, you know, I have this marketing job, I have this opportunity to be on the other side of the world, I really have to get to India. I promised myself I would get to India.

What am I going to do? And then little, you kind of just start saying yes. But saying yes means staying properly hydrated, means having a regular daily devoted meditation practice, means eating real whole foods. And that's the deep work— meeting the basic needs, taking care of this physical form, this physical vessel. Because otherwise we would have came into this world as little spirits kind of bouncing around each other, but we're in a human meat suit. So you have to take care of this flesh and then you can pursue your highest possible timeline.

[12:11] Paul: So you, you eventually do leave that job and sort of follow that path. Were there first sort of moments where that, that energy inside of you started to force itself into the world and show itself in tiny actions?

[12:28] Erin Doppelt: I promised myself that I would trust deeply and completely. I led a trip to Israel in January 2015, and I stayed for 6 months. And there was a lot of very important things that happened during that time. One, I spent significant amount of time by myself, and that's really the greatest privilege of all, to pause, to check into your own rhythm, right? Like, how do I even like to sleep and wake up? When do I like to eat my meals?

So rarely do we give ourselves permission slips to even check in on waking up without an alarm or to eat on your own rhythm as opposed to with your family, friends, or children. So spending time with self, it's this re-intimacy with, I call it, it's in Hebrew, it's teshuvah hanefesh. So it's accounting of the soul. It's this deep inner check into self. This intimacy with knowing your own light, your own soul. And once you know who you are, you become quite powerful.

And in those moments, of course, while living in Israel, I spent time with shamans in the desert. I dated a lot of people. I studied functional medicine, nutrition, and a lot of other holistic remedies. I started writing parts of my book that are now about 8 years later are coming into the world, which is quite cool. And then I laid the foundation to get to India. But the thing that I really wanna stress about this moment in time is something that's so unique about our current human experience is we're so, we have such full schedules.

So this idea of spending time with self is very confronting for a lot of people. What am I gonna find, right? Like, what do you find when you're quiet with yourself? What if you see something that you don't like? What if you look in the mirror and you understand that you are the block between your deepest desires and dreams, between you and your highest possible timeline? So in those moments, you have to, one, be infinitely kind to yourself.

That's the most important. And two, in that honesty is the miracle. In that honesty is the clarity. And clarity is like enlightenment. You want something, people think they want to feel better, they want to feel happy, they want to feel joy. What a lot of people desire is radical clarity, just to know who they are at their core and to move forth in that direction.

[14:54] Paul: I was sharing a quote that really inspired me in my period of solitude, I'd say, which is actually 5 years ago when I decided to randomly move to Taiwan. And now I'm going back with a daughter, which is this just like amazing experience. But the quote is from Rebecca Solnit, and she says, pulling it up, that thing of na— that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you is usually what you need to find, and finding it is a matter of getting lost. So does that resonate with you, this idea of getting lost to sort of find what you need to find? And it's so hard in today's culture, right? Because I think the trap is, especially if you're sort of a capable, intelligent person, like there's so many sort of things you can just do.

The doing mode, stay busy, get involved in work, all these sort of things. And actually just not doing and getting lost is so hard.

[15:56] Erin Doppelt: When we talk about getting lost, it's as if we are already found. And I would argue that so many people in this present moment are lost. And what I love so much about your book and this podcast titled The Pathless Path, it does imply lost, but it's actually the path towards becoming, I would say, your most authentic self, right? Becoming found, becoming clear. So what if— I like the quote, of course, but I see it. I mean, especially the clients that come to me, they want to live life on their own terms.

They want to feel better. They want to have gusto. So they're already lost. And in that lost, they find little pieces that are bringing them closer to what they believe is the path for them to pursue. Now, do I think entrepreneurship is an incredible path? Yes, of course.

There's no— the most secure job you'll ever have is the one that you create for yourself. And I think you and I probably found a lot of peace and flexibility and freedom in that path as well. But that's not true. And that's why feminism, modern-day feminism, is such an important conversation. Feminism, the definition that I think is modernized over and over and over again, is you have the right to choose. Women have the right to choose.

I have so many female friends where having children and baking bread and having dinner on the table, that is their highest possible timeline. To me, that also sounds amazing. I love making sourdough bread. I love making beautiful meals. There's another path for a lot of women where being a high-power lawyer or entrepreneur or best-selling author or marathoner, and that's their idea of living their highest possible timeline, or feminism in their own viewpoint. We are living in a time where most people, more people, are on that moment of unclarity, where they are in the feeling state of lost, and they are looking to take those initial steps to move towards their most authentic self, which is synonymous to the high— their highest possible timeline.

[18:17] Paul: Yeah. And in your experience, what does that shift feel like? I think I have a sense for what you're talking about because I've felt this, and It's very hard to communicate to other people what it feels like to feel connected, but it's a night and day difference from my former life. Except to other people, it's my life is very risky now and the other one is the safe one. But to me, it's completely opposite because I actually know who I am. I know what matters to me.

I know what tradeoffs I'm making, and I continually sort of like practice being me. So I'm wondering, when you think about it, how do you describe what that feels like?

[19:00] Erin Doppelt: To me, it feels like— and I love talking about feeling states because feeling states are intimate and unique to every single person. And sometimes we'll say something in our English language and it almost dumbs down the feeling that's paired with it. So I like to explain the highest possible feeling state that I could truly embody is sitting in a cafe in a new city with a cup of coffee and my journal, or waking up in the morning next to John, my husband, with an amazing novel and my— I'm quite pregnant right now, so soon-to-be new baby. These are feeling states that speak to me in my soul. And I talk a lot about manifestation and I talk about reprogramming your subconscious mind and I talk about meditation and positive psychology and science of happiness and science of nourishment. And these are all themes that are building blocks that get people to where they desire to be.

So you can think about it from a very clinical framework, right? I studied positive psychology with Dr. Dan Tomasulo when I was at Columbia, and I think these, these frameworks exist for a reason. Here is a route to increase happiness in your life. You can follow this specific model, you can follow this specific framework, you could take this personality test, and then you can start implementing it day in and day out. Or you can move into another conversation piece where you take time with self, you slow down, you connect to your breath, you open a pen and paper, and you ask yourself, who am I at my core, right?

What would I do? How would I spend the day if I only wanted to connect to pleasure? When I think of what I desire most, what is that feeling state? Who am I? Who is this person in that feeling? A practice I like to educate on a lot is a practice called snapshot manifestation.

And it's a practice where you see yourself 6 months to a year and a half from now. You have to pick a very specific event that is going to occur no matter what. So I usually like to do a family friend's, a family member's wedding. So you pick a date, let's say March 2024, March 15th, 2024. Let's say you have an event that date, and you view yourself having everything you most desire in that specific snapshot in time. So if this is a wedding, what are you wearing, right?

Maybe you— and I always love to say this because I did this in the past— What if you're wearing a dress that you got handmade in Vietnam and someone says, wow, I really love your dress. And you say, thank you, I just got it on my travels. And that implies what you are calling in is traveling. Maybe you are sitting there with your beloved, and that implies that somewhere along the way you have found your beloved. Maybe you are celebrating a new client in your business or maybe signing up for a meditation teacher training. That implies that you are taking aligned action on your dreams on some level.

So, and I can share a lot of information for you to put in the show notes if people are interested in snapshot manifestation. I have a ton of free content on that specific piece of information. But feeling states are always going to be the most important. So if somebody is listening to this and they say, "I want to feel more freedom," well, when was the last time you felt free? I want to feel more clarity. When was the last time you felt clear?

What were the actions that were taken to get you into that feeling state? And then you start moving forward in that direction. It takes aligned action and it takes time with self to become more and more in tune to the, the reality that you really want to live. And it's possible for you. It's possible for everyone.

[22:56] Paul: So you've done this as well. Maybe, maybe talk to us a little bit about how you've manifested some things in your life.

[23:04] Erin Doppelt: Yeah. And just so— and my background's clinical psychology, and I spent a significant amount of time living on the other side of the world. I mean, I met my family's in Chicago right now, but we live in Austin right now, which is how we connected in the absolute most incredible community. Yeah, I think manifestation is a really powerful tool because it really does align to the science of happiness as well and nourishment. And it just shows you what you want. And I think we live in a society, especially women, we're always conditioned to be grateful, right?

Be grateful, be grateful, be grateful. You have a job or you got— you have a child, like, be grateful. You have a house, be grateful. And especially in the spiritual world, which is what I like love working in, It's this conditioning of you can be grateful away the bad feeling states and you can gratitude away the bad feeling states. And that's just not, that's not true, right? If you're gonna do this work, you have to be authentic.

You have to be honest with who you are. You have to be honest with what you desire for yourself in the world. So I was very clear on who I wanted to be. I was very clear on how I wanted to live. And how I wanted to feel day in and day out. And that starts with— and I've seen it done in so many different ways, but let's take snapshot manifestation, really move forward with this.

So I manifested John, I manifested my book deal, I manifested so much of my freedom-based lifestyle right now. And once you have this clear snapshot in time, that you know you want to be, you know you want, how you want to feel in that moment. Your job is to then take a step back, sit down, and say, okay, today, you know, this is where I'm at, but in my snapshot manifestation, I had clear skin and toned arms, and I was celebrating a new client in my business. That is going to give you really honest course correction and how to show up today. So maybe that means you need to drink more water today for that clear skin, or edit your diet or lifestyle. If you have those toned arms, maybe that means you're showing up regularly to yoga or Pilates.

If in your snapshot manifestation you are with your highest possible soulmate, guess what? And you're not dating today, you gotta get on some sort of platform or ask people for a shidduch, which is like an introduction to start meeting other people. Nothing works in the spiritual or energetic world unless you are taking physical aligned action in this physical world. So aligned action is moving one step forward from a place of rawness, of truth, of intimacy with self. So when I was working my corporate job, 22, 20, I'm 32 right now. So 10 years ago, the— and I'll add this little caveat— the greatest thing, and I kind of, and I'm sure you've seen this as well too, uh, seen this as well when you were writing your book, Paul, you learn more about yourself when you're writing a book.

So I'm writing my book, I— yeah, it's, it's so interesting. And I asked myself like, how did I do this, right? So in my job, my job was $40,000. I made $40,000, my first job out of undergrad. And in 2013, that seemed like a lot of money. However, I worked in the restaurant industry, so breakfast, lunch, and dinner was taken care of.

So all I paid for was my rent and, and like, that's it, right? Little things here and there. So when I got ready to travel, my— I was leading trips to the other side of the world. Sometimes I was paying for plane tickets, sometimes it was my client that was, and that allowed me to have that little bit of abundance to start taking aligned action. This meant renting Airbnbs or hotels or subletting places, and those little moments added up over time. So for anyone who's listening, I highly recommend snapshot manifestation.

Have a very clear vision of who you want to be 6 months to 1 year from now. Pay attention to the feeling states in your snapshot manifestation, and then you have to be radically honest with yourself and course correct today and also take the aligned action. And I'll share with Paul some videos on this as well.

[27:40] Paul: Yeah, it's, it's sort of a way to just like hack your attention, right? And just be more honest with yourself. I think sometimes I, I talk to a lot of people, they just don't want to admit admit what they actually want. And that can lead to years of just sort of flailing about. I think this was my story as well. When I look at some of the first wake-up calls— this happened in my book— I'm seeing signs in my first internship, of her first job when I'm 16.

And it's like, oh my gosh, I took 16 years to like really take ownership of what I actually thought and wanted in the world. And I learned a lot along that way. And sometimes those journeys are necessary, but these things can be a shortcut to just making you aware of what you're doing. I'd love to hear a little more detail about your manifesting, maybe manifesting John. Like, can you tell specifics about that? Like, how did that happen?

Or another example, any of them.

[28:53] Erin Doppelt: Yeah, no, oh my God, manifesting this hot, hairy husband of mine. Are you kidding? I'll talk about it all day. It's like one of the greatest accomplishments of my life. And, and you really just reiterated this as well. Whatever you focus on expands.

So whatever you focus on grows. So if you are focusing on your suffering or how shitty you feel, how much you hate your job, that is the thing that is going to expand. If you focus on the little things that are in alignment, the yoga class that feels nourishing, the relationships that are inspiring, the book that you love to read right before bed, that is going to grow and expand as well. So manifestation for, it's, I think a lot of people perceive it as quite spiritual and very woo. It can be defined as a science because what you're essentially doing, and there's a term called quantum leaping, And quantum leaping is absolutely possible. It's when you collapse time.

So it's like when Beyoncé says when she steps on stage, she is Sasha Fierce. It's as if when you have your snapshot manifestation and you put a name to that version of yourself in that snapshot manifestation, you can collapse time by becoming her today, by becoming that person today. So I specifically, I mean, I remember it quite well. I wrote a whole chapter about this in my book as well. I manifested John through a powerful ceremony and then reiterated by snapshot manifestation. The key with snapshot manifestation is to keep the feeling state of your snapshot manifestation of the vision every day for at least a couple minutes.

So if we're going along the same, um, example, March 15, 2024, You're at your family's wedding, some family member's wedding. You have everything you desire and you are manifesting your highest romantic partner. What does it feel like to be in the presence of this person? Maybe they put their arm around your back. How does that feel? There's a slow song and you go up and dance together.

What does this person smell like to you? They— you share a laugh together. What was the comment that was funny? This romantic partner goes and gets you a cocktail. Why do they know what your favorite cocktail is? You want to get so fine-tuned.

Your nosy aunt walks over and asks you questions about how you both met. What is your answer? And in that same moment, you are connected to the feeling. So the feeling of being in the presence of your highest possible soulmate. The thing that I love about Snapshot Manifestation versus a lot of other manifestation protocols out there is in Snapshot Manifestation, you can call in many things at once. So the work in calling in your highest possible soulmate is day in and day out, you stay connected to the feeling state of being in the presence of your beloved.

So when you show up for a first date or you're at an event with some eligible people, you pay attention to when you feel that feeling state. And I know for me, when John walked into the restaurant on our first date, he like put his— my back was facing him. He put his hand on my shoulder. And then he sat down and it's the feeling of my ceremony. So it becomes very clear, it becomes very grounded. And then, you know, you don't need to date for a million years.

You can kind of just jump right into this relationship with your beloved. But of course, you know, John and I are from the same small town outside of Chicago. My mom was in my ear thinking for years that, he was really special, like he was somebody that I, I may want to pay attention to one day. And then essentially he slid into my DMs. So all of these things really add up, but it was because of my daily devoted practice that allowed me to show up and know that this was the man to my future children, right? This was my travel partner, this was my highest beloved.

And it's profound. Yeah, it's a good practice for anyone. Snapshot manifestation is a good practice for anyone, even if you already in partnership.

[33:10] Paul: Yeah. A friend, Michelle Varhus, manifested a lifetime supply of lotion and she ended up getting this. Amazing. I'll link up to the article in the show notes. But afterwards she was like, wow, I just wasted this power on lotion.

[33:30] Erin Doppelt: She can do it again. I mean, this is—

[33:32] Paul: I know.

[33:32] Erin Doppelt: Everybody can tap into it. It's energy, it's clarity, it's dropping in, it's getting clear. Yeah. It's good, it works.

[33:39] Paul: I'd love to go back to, um, your trips, uh, specifically Israel and India. Uh, what was it about being in those places that, uh, helped you really get to know yourself a bit more and led to you where you are now?

[33:58] Erin Doppelt: I wanted to go to the holiest places I could think of that were relevant to me. In— when I was in college, I studied abroad in Florence, Italy. And I ran— I walked into this bookstore one day and I found the book Shantaram, which is an incredible— I don't know if you've read that. Have you read that book?

[34:14] Paul: No.

[34:15] Erin Doppelt: And it's an incredible story about the Indian mafia, essentially, in Mumbai. And I was so drawn to India from that moment, but I really wanted to understand how the other side of the world connected to God and felt that I needed a pretty I talk a lot about existential psychology and psychotherapy. So existential psychotherapy is defined by you need to give, you need to give the client an explanation. Sorry, you need to give the client an experience, not an explanation. So that's why I think life credibility and booking the plane ticket and discovering what it's like to live on the other side of the world is so profound and so transformational. And I, I wanted to eat it, right?

Like, I wanted the experience so badly that I wanted it inside of me. And it's such a primal all-knowing that we have sometimes. And also, that's also a big part of my spiritual awakening, is this love for food. Like, eating high-quality, good, divine food with a lot of different flavors from all around the world. Again, intimacy with food, connection to food. Because so many of us are undernourished when we're talking, talking about enjoyment in our day to day, right?

If you love food, that's breakfast, lunch, and dinner plus snacks, you're going to enjoy that more thoroughly. You may live a life with more gusto. For me, I always knew I had to get back to Israel. I had to spend significant amount of time there. John and I literally just got back last week from another 10 days there. We go every single year.

That was a big thing in my manifestation as well. How was I going to find a soulmate that had this deep connection to a land like I do? Because I wanted to be with somebody who loved Israel so deeply, but in their own way. And it felt like such a wild criteria. Yet John studied abroad there in college and he speaks the language and he's deeply connected. So it's something that we fell in love over as well.

Israel— I had to live there, I had to spend time there. I was leading a lot of trips there. I love the people, I love the food, I love the culture. It's European Middle East. Uh, so to explain Israel is to explain like Balagan. Like, there's so much wildness, there's so much energy all the time, and you're just thrown into it.

And I wanted to educate on yogic wisdom and meditation, so I felt that India was absolutely essential. I started off in Mumbai. I ended up living in many different ashrams and spiritual centers in the north and the south. I was dating a— at the time he was considered a Bollywood actor, he's now more of a news broadcaster. I was like very integrated in Indian culture. I took baths out of a bucket.

I had a whole group of friends. I was very, very, very in it and really loved every moment. Worked with these every single day. I think I washed my hair 4 times over the course of 6 months, had coconut oil in my hair at all times, was always practicing an Ayurvedic regimen, spent a lot of time in silence, studied a lot of yoga and meditation, met a ton of false gurus. And I think that's a very important conversation piece as well for anyone who's listening, because when you are lost or when you are looking to shift, you are willing to receive advice or wisdom from anyone. And there are so many people out there who are not genuine in their education or are not sharing from a place of kindness, if you will.

So while in India, I met really a lot of false gurus. I met a lot of, I studied under a lot of Indian practices that resonated and a lot that didn't because many of these yogic practices, and even still today, are brought into the world for men. So you need to adapt a lot of these things to support a woman in opening up her hips or to support a woman in active meditation when she is in her follicular, ovulation, luteal, or menstrual phase. So men and women are quite different, and the yogic scene has yet to— through Tantra or some shamanic and maybe some different lineages, that conversation is more present. So it's becoming more well-known in the West as well.

[38:46] Paul: Yeah, I have a friend, uh, Kelly Miller. She does a lot of thinking and work around working in the different menstrual stages. And when she first started talking about it, it was just this, oh wow, our entire working world is designed around like continuous steady energy. It's like, well, yeah, basically just designed around men. And I don't even know if that serves all men. Like, I think I was somebody that really did not fit with the rhythm of the corporate world.

I have found I work in a much more seasonal sort of up and down and irregular creative energy. But maybe talk to me a little bit about that in your journey as well.

[39:36] Erin Doppelt: Women, we are not supposed to work so much. And it shouldn't be so controversial or radical to say something like that. Women are not supposed to work so much. We are not supposed to work 40 hours a week. We are different every single day. Our balance— when our hormones are balanced— are different every single day.

We have 4 different distinctive categories in our cycle. It's why I'm so passionate, passionate about women especially honestly mothers becoming entrepreneurs, because then you are building a lifestyle rooted in freedom. It's why I have this— if I may talk about, um, I have this certification training that's a year long and it's called the Align Coaching Certification, and it's a year-long container where you become a certified meditation teacher and spiritual psychology coach. We talk about Eastern ritual and Western psychology. We start with Term 1, which is a meditation teacher training. But it's so incredible to me, all the women who join this container and they build out a business, right?

A lot of them come to me already kind of being coaches. Some of them are already coaches, mentors, guides, midwives of the soul. A lot of them just want to learn, and a lot of them are just interested in paving a new path for themselves. Because once you see how interested people are in this work, once you learn the skill of meditation to have a relaxed nervous system, you have a tool that one, obviously transforms yourself and your family because you're chill, and two, you can educate others. Women are waking up to this. Again, I talked about it earlier about this radical awakening for— I think millennials took feminism and we decided that we were going to work our asses off for a very long time.

And now we're realizing that that works for some women and not for all of us, and we get the right to choose. So being an entrepreneur allows you to choose. You get to work when you want. You get to take on soulmate clients that feel good to you. You get to show up on the social media platform or use word of mouth or live events or podcasts to connect to people in a way that feels authentic. Women are programmed quite differently than men, and we are— we're not supposed to work so much.

And that's just— and that's just my truth.

[42:05] Paul: Yeah. And it's interesting. I mean, we're almost 5 months into having a daughter, and a lot of what people say to us is really a projection around a certain way of living life, which is a very narrow slice of how most of the world works. It is this idea that both men and women should have a full-time career. Therefore, how are you designing your child's life around that? How are you thinking about nannies, daycare schedules, sleep rhythms, and it's sort of, it's sort of weird because it's disconnected.

It's disconnected from what the parents need. It's disconnected from what the child actually needs. And it kind of ties to this idea of, okay, you can be anything you want. You're equal. As long as it's within the context of full-time work, working for a big company in the US. And I'm finding more and more just people are looking at more of the possibilities.

What are the different ways to structure life, structure a week, structure a month, structure a year, structure a decade, structure a life? And yeah, it's, it seems like it's an exciting time for that. It's great to meet people like you who are also thinking about these things with children as well, because it is challenging, especially in the US, to find other people thinking differently. So I'd love to hear Maybe, I mean, you're entering this chapter, it is definitely hard to prepare for, but what are the conversations you and John are having about how you wanna structure your life and time?

[43:47] Erin Doppelt: Paul, I think this is where you and, and me and John and Angie, where we're so similar. It's, we are in the phase right now where we're making our plans for the next 6 months, right? We're looking 6 months out and we're pretty grounded on the 5 and 10-year plan. But when you're nomads like us, and yes, of course we met in Austin, but we all have this deep, profound love of traveling and living in other places. And I know you're jet-setting in a little bit too when it's just so— so we're in Chicago right now. I'm at my, my family's house.

These are like pictures that we painted in third and fourth grade. And I'm seeing my friends, best friend, like friends that I love with all my heart. And we all took very different paths. And they say, Erin, you have to choose a home with a really good school district, a really good public school district. And it just— I love that for them. Do whatever feels in alignment for you.

But I think we're going to world school, right? I think we're going to travel and maybe we're going to do something quite alternative and we might not even send our kids to school for what, until they're 8? 9, 13. Like, what, what is this? And don't hold me to it. I know I'm speaking about it right now on your, on your podcast.

There's some things that you just need to experience. I already— right, I'm 5 months pregnant right now. When this episode comes out, I'll be 6 months pregnant, and I feel already quite different, right? We just got back from a month in Europe and Israel on our babymoon. and it took me days to like align my jet lag. Normally it's a non-issue, right?

It, it just, it's never been an issue in my life before. And you're traveling in Europe and you can't eat the soft cheese and you can't eat the prosciutto. Of course I had a little bit here and there, but it's things like that that just edit your lifestyle because you're changing, you're growing. So, um, one of my favorite spiritual practices of all, and I share this with any of you who are listening, one of my favorite spiritual practices is I reserve the right to change my mind. And it's the greatest thing ever, right? Like, I was a devout vegan years when I was living in Israel and India.

I mean, like, a while ago. Now, especially living in Austin, we eat— we're carnivore, you know. We eat so much meat. We eat 2 to 3 eggs and bacon for breakfast. We have a steak a day. Like, we're really Uh, and I think that's also why I thank God got pregnant so easily.

So when you reserve the right to change your mind, it gives you permission to have a strong belief system now and to change it in the future. But Paul, we're with you. We're, um, I'll let you know when we know, but it really is— it's, we're going to keep the baby with us. Baby's going to stay with us the first 40 days. Baby will be on my body and then we'll take it from there.

[46:48] Paul: Well, it— I've noticed that the conversations around kids sort of expose this script living, which is, here's the story I am attached to, here's how life works. And I think it is so noticeable when you're talking about kids because people are asking you about school. Yeah, you know what happens before school? Like 3 to 4 years of life, right? So it's like, it's amazing. I can actually, I can actually decide in 3, 3 years and gather the information and also actually ask our daughter's opinion and thoughts, right?

And it, of course, it's not going to be the most, um, interesting, um, deepest thoughts, but there, there's Some interesting stuff there. I actually just reposted an episode with my friend Hannah Frankman, who was homeschooled, and one of her first memories is as a 5 or 6-year-old sitting down with her parents and taking part in the decision process of whether or not she should be homeschooled. And it's just this powerful— wow, I love that frame because it's like, oh yeah, you can You can actually wait till your children talk before you have to decide, talk and walk before you have to decide like what they need. 'Cause you actually won't know. If we have a daughter who needs more certainty and does need more stability and needs to be in a place, we're not going to just wander recklessly around the globe. We're gonna pay attention, adjust course, and all these things.

It's just that in terms of being energized for life, Angie and I are not the most excited about picking a 20-year life path right now. Um, that works for some people, but it is not going to lead to the best versions of who we are to show up as parents. And yeah, it's— and this is why it's so necessary, I think, to meet other people who are thinking a little more broadly about possible life paths.

[49:03] Erin Doppelt: And something that is so present for people who know the world is you leave a part of your heart, you leave a part of your soul in so many of these different neighborhoods and cities and nooks and crannies around the world that you kind of always know that there are other options. And it's a blessing and a curse. But there are places in the world like Santa Teresa, Costa Rica, where the kids grow up speaking Spanish and Hebrew and have Shabbat every Friday in English. And then there's places like Bali where you need not a ton of cash to live an incredibly well-balanced, healthy life, and there's a Montessori school down the street. So there's— so I align with everything you're saying so deeply. I love what you tweeted yesterday.

You said, where's an incredible place I can go to write, like an inspiring place to write?

[49:59] Paul: Yeah. And also kid-friendly.

[50:01] Erin Doppelt: And also kid-friendly. Yes.

[50:04] Paul: Yeah, it's, we sort of have a constraint. I met Angie, she grew up in Taiwan, so neither of us are ever going to be in our, like, home, right? Our homes are other places always. And in a sense, like, I feel at home in some ways. Like, I feel like part of my identity can live a little more in Taiwan. She feels like a little bit a part of her identity can live a little more here.

And I don't know where we'll end up, and I don't need to know. I'm just as excited to find out as— and anyone else, um, and it's going to be a fun journey. And that sort of brings me to something I wanted to dive into, um, with— and sort of this, we talked a bit about this before, of these sort of negative emotions and how they can unfold and lead to changes far down the road. I experienced this where I sort of had this wake-up call with a health crisis, and it wasn't until 5 years later that things started to unfold. You've talked a lot about how you can sort of notice these small shifts in time and how they lead to massive changes down the road. Have you gotten better at noticing things and sort of bringing them alive inside of you a lot quicker as you've done a lot of this work?

[51:33] Erin Doppelt: It requires attention. So it requires paying attention. I'm so— I had a moment the other day, you know, I'm in my— I've moved back into my parents' house so many times, and I'm so grateful that my parents' house is a safe place I can move back into. And I've moved back into— I've moved back into my parents' house on and off throughout my 20s between trips. John and I moved back into my parents' house during COVID when we started traveling full-time again. And what it comes down to is how deeply can I lean into the energy around me?

So how much do I trust that I'm being guided? And it takes, it takes some muscle, right? You need to honor that muscle. I think there are so many different ways to interpret a sign or a symbol. So if there's a specific song that always resonates with you, and you hear it playing, that's always a really good, a really good indicator. If you are debating a couple different choices, something that I like to do is, and I teach very specific methods on how to become more clear and to trust.

So there's this one practice called the PPP method, which is pause, pray, and pay attention. So if you have a question that you are debating, if you are deciding, like, and we're talking big life things, like big things, a breakup, which I love, by the way. Like, I love when people get fired and quit their jobs and get divorced and break up and like move across the world and say yes, something— yes to something big and say no to something big. Like, it just means that you're awake and you're paying attention and you are being an active participant in your own life because so many people have chosen to just opt out. So that little part of being an active participant in your own life leads to radical change. So the PPP method is, let's say you are looking to make a big life decision.

You pause, and in that pause, do whatever you need to do in that pause. If you need to meditate, if you need to journal, if you need to go for a walk, like that pause is there to root you, to bring your tailbone back to the earth, to remind yourself. Like I always think, like whenever I see like a fat bottom girl, which I am, so I can say It's we have these bodies for a reason. I think women are built in a very specific way to keep ourselves grounded in earth because we can tend to, we can leave our bodies and become quite spiritual. So even our physical form is here to kind of like keep you rooted in the earth. So the pause is so important.

Again, the pause is the accounting of the soul, the inner check into self, the walking yourself back home, the knowing who you truly are. It's that intimacy with self. The pray, and so many people are charged by that word pray. Pray is you're asking for something bigger than self to support you. This can be connecting to a grandparent that you loved who has passed away. This can be a tree in your family house that you always would speak to.

This can be a higher power as you understand it in any religion that resonates with you. It can be Mama Gaia. It can be really Mother Nature, anything. And you ask for exactly what you need. You ask for a very specific symbol. Show me a deer.

Play that one song by Styx. Show me a 7 of diamonds. Like, you ask for something very specific, and when you see that thing, it means you are supposed to do XYZ. And then the third P is pay attention, because the pause and pray might help you feel better, but the final P, the pay attention, is very important. It's good to put a time frame, so it's good to say, show me this thing within the next 48 hours or within the next 7 days. And then you also have to be honest with yourself if you do not see the sign.

And you can, uh, DM me on Instagram and we'll talk about it, but When you do not see the sign, then it's another way to course correct. So pause, pray, pay attention.

[55:53] Paul: Amazing. I love how deeply you've thought about so many of these things, which leads to, I'd love to just hear what the status of the book is. Maybe tell people a little bit about the book and how that's going.

[56:09] Erin Doppelt: Paul, thank you. I appreciate it. I actually got the COVID today. I got two options for the COVID And I could totally see how the designer was going in. It was like two radical directions. One was very peaceful and tranquil and kind of like the Untethered Soul by Michael Singer type of vibe, like very clean.

And the other one was more like Glennon Doyle, Untamed, a lot of colors and fierce. And it's like, this is the book to read if you want to change your life. And you cannot miss it if it's on a bookshelf. So, and it's so fun to get that while I'm at my parents' house. So I strategized with John and my parents and showed them the covers. The book is done.

I'm really, really proud of it. And something that just the coolest thing—

[56:58] Paul: What's it called?

[56:58] Erin Doppelt: That I, they just changed the title. So the title is Nothing Can Stop You.

[57:03] Paul: Oh, I like that.

[57:05] Erin Doppelt: Yeah, I like it a lot too. But the thing that I love so much about this book, and maybe you felt this as well, is, I wrote the book right when John and I were a couple of months into living in Austin, and our community in Austin is a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of big thinkers, a lot of alternative thinkers. So I was having different types of conversations, and those conversations made it into the book. So it's a different— it's, it's just different. And I think it actually is better than it could have. It could have really ever been.

Uh, that's why, that's why it matters to be in the room. Like, whenever I create a program, it's— you're— yes, you're buying what the program is, but you're paying to be in the Zoom room with all these other incredible people. But the book is done, and it comes out May 1st, 2024.

[57:54] Paul: That's so exciting. Um, yeah, yeah, I love those kind of books, the sort of more personal journey, real description of what's actually happening. I get so disappointed sometimes when I'm reading a book and it's like, well, here's— I had an awakening. Oh, but by the way, here's this research study, and they never tell you how they feel. It's like, give me more, give me more. So it's so cool to hear you're, you're bringing alive like the real conversations and experiences you went through.

And we'll be Looking forward to that next year.

[58:32] Erin Doppelt: Thank you. I'm so excited. I think when you hear somebody's lived experience, it integrates in a much deeper way. But the whole point of the book is to inspire people to do the thing that they've always wanted to do, whatever it is, right? Learn how to bake sourdough bread or book a plane ticket or write a book or launch a podcast or break up with somebody or show up for a first date, right? Or have the baby or don't have the baby, right?

Do the thing that you've always wanted to do. And there's, and then I give so many different, I have 13 chapters, which is 13 personal stories. And then a really a lot of different rituals and prompts and then psychological frameworks to dive deeper into the practice to internalize it, integrate it and move forward in their own lives. And that integration piece is the most important, right? You can have a radical awakening, but if you have no place to integrate it, then it doesn't, it doesn't matter.

[59:27] Paul: Who are some of your path role models?

[59:29] Erin Doppelt: This is— I was going to bring this up earlier because I don't know if you feel similarly. I have very few families, and that, um, John and I talk about this all the time, like, who is out there with their family living the life that we want to live?

[59:45] Paul: And we have a list of like 3 families, you know, maybe I have so many I have so many for you because, yeah, Angie and I knew pretty early on we wanted kids. So anywhere we were in the world, we're like, they have kids, we need to go talk to them, let's go be their friend. Uh, so we've gotten to know a decent amount of, uh, couples in different places, uh, in the world. There's definitely a big community. And the good news is I think they're way easier to find if you actually have kids because It's like, you, you, you, we're, we gotta talk.

[01:00:21] Erin Doppelt: There's this one really significant family in my life. When I was living in Mumbai, I was loosely introduced to this one family that was also from Chicago. And it was kind of like, you know, in case you need anything, here's this family. And I ended up reaching out around the holiday season to connect with them. And this family, the matriarch of the family, I, I was like living in a mostly silent ashram in South India. I had my boyfriend.

I was, um, like, I was just so in it, right? Like, I was very integrated in Indian culture. I had my yoga shala, I had my like dosa place that I would go to. I had my life in, in Mumbai. And she took me out for sushi and a glass of wine. And I remember it's like December 2017.

No, no, no, no, no. That's when I met John. It was December 2015. She takes me out for sushi and a glass of wine. And I remembered, I was like, oh my God, I'm a bougie North Shore Chicago girl. Like, I love this.

I love this rosé. Like, this is amazing. And I ended up becoming quite close with her and her family. She, they have 4 sons. And they also live in Chicago, so we spend our summers with them. And now they live in Israel, so we see them in Israel quite often.

And this is a family that has, like, they've seen me in India, like the version of who I was in India to who I am when I'm living in my parents' house in Chicago, to then meeting John, to then traveling with them in Israel. Like, it's such a, it's an incredible relationship. It's like, it's the family you choose. So it's quite significant. But you're right, I, I would love to know some of the other examples you have because we don't know a ton emulating the life that we desire.

[01:02:17] Paul: Yeah, it's, it's a very interesting thing. I think this is one of the great things about the internet too, is you can sort of sample di— different people's life paths. I mean, this is so inspirational for me. I don't really get caught up in like, I want to be like X. And I think I'm very lucky. I just don't have that strong pull.

But it's like, oh, this person's way of doing this and that person's way of doing this and that person's way of doing this. And how do we integrate that and test it? That's actually fun for me. I think that's not as fun for other people, but it makes it fun to experiment. And we will share notes from our adventures and explorations as well.

[01:03:02] Erin Doppelt: Please do. Please do.

[01:03:04] Paul: What, what are you most excited about in this new chapter?

[01:03:08] Erin Doppelt: I'm so excited to become a mom. It's something I've been wanting my— it was always something I was very clear on, and I feel very grounded in it and excited about it. And I feel so grateful that I get to do this with John, and there's so many significant things. It's like I birthed the book and now I'm birthing the baby. And then— but the thing that I'm most excited about, and this is the thing that I've recognized really is my purpose, like, and legacy energy. So the legacy energy is kind of how you, how you leave the world behind, right?

Like, what will your legacy be? Like, what is the feeling state, the energy that you share with people they will remember? Once you, once you expire. So I know so much of my legacy energy is just essentially helping people do the things that they desire, they do, that they, that their heart yearns for. That means manifesting their soulmate. If that means becoming an entrepreneur, then you join the certification.

That means launching and scaling a business, then you join my business mastermind. If that means connecting to your heart, that means you join me on retreats somewhere in the world. I lead retreats all around the world. And I really feel that there needs to be more examples of women who are doing this with children, with a baby on the boob and a toddler on the hip. And it's my greatest joy, honestly, if I can serve as that example. And I don't desire to be, you know, like I refuse to be overworked.

There's, that's never been interesting to me. I think it's so essential for parents to spend significant amount of time with their offspring. And I feel so grateful that my parents spent so much time with me. I mean, I saw, I also saw my grandma almost every single day when I came home from school. That's absolutely life-changing. So combining all these pieces that were so incredible for John and I as we grew up, which is so wild in the same part of the world, what is, what's next for us is I think the greatest gift of all, which is parenthood.

Plus knowing how much we love to eat Italian pizza and dosa with our hands and pray in Hindu Sanskrit and be in temples all over the world, and then be in Israel once a year to connect to Judaism and our family and our loved ones on Moshevim and different shared communities. So I'm, yeah, I'm just excited to be present this time around. I think, I mean, I know for many life, this is not, this is my first time being a mother in this lifetime. However, this is something that I've done before in the past, but never in this way. So I'm really excited about that. And there's definitely a book there, right?

Like there's definitely Nomad Mama there.

[01:06:01] Paul: I love it. I would definitely read that. Yeah. I love this idea of legacy energy too. It's really got me thinking That's such a better frame. I just read this book, Die with Zero, which talks about how many people oversave for later in life.

And it's really just a symptom of looking at life as an economic problem. And it shifted my thinking towards the experiences. And I love the light, the legacy energy. I think that's such a better way of thinking about what you actually leave behind. Where, where can people learn more if they want to follow your stuff? You have your own podcast, you've done over 100 episodes.

But yeah, where's the best people to point people now to?

[01:06:50] Erin Doppelt: Now the best place to hang out with me is on Instagram @ErinRDoppelt, E-R-I-N-R-D-O-P-P-E-L-T. I show up a lot on Instagram. I'm also on TikTok and YouTube, also Erin R. Doppelt. I have a ton of free video content on YouTube. You can— when this episode comes out, I am enrolling for our next round of the Align Coaching Certification.

It is a year-long container where you become a certified meditation teacher and spiritual psychology coach. I'm going to be giving a ton of behind the scenes on my book launch and how I'm baby-proofing my business. So I know it's going to be a really special year for everyone who chooses to join this round. It's— we only open it once a year. It's such an incredible program. There's nothing else.

There's nothing like it, right? There's no combination like this. And it's certified through truly one of the highest institutions I could ever dream up. So just message me on Instagram if you hear this episode. I will honor early action pricing. So just let me know you heard me.

On this podcast, I will, I will know how to support you. My website is erindracheldoppelt.com. And yeah, look out for the book coming out in May.

[01:08:07] Paul: Amazing. Thank you so much, Erin. Uh, such a delightful conversation today. I'm looking forward to meeting, uh, your little one and your book in the future.

[01:08:18] Erin Doppelt: We can have a playdate. Yeah, Michelle and whatever— what, we don't know the gender, so whatever we birth into the world, it's going to be the best. Thank you, Paul. I'm so happy to be in your energy.